Spank your kids

So there I was, minding my own business and wasting time on Reddit when I decided to check out some threads related to parenting and I swear to you, it was like I had entered another dimension. Thread after thread, were stories that parents were sharing of their trials and tribulations with child rearing. The common thread throughout their threads was desperation. These parents had reached their limits and they were pleading into the great digital void for advice. I found myself, for the first time in my life feeling as though I suddenly possessed all the answers, except that there was only one answer. It was the only bit of advice not being doled out and it seemed to me like the only logical solution to each of their problems. Their children were each sorely in need of a good old fashioned ass whooping.

On principle, I am against giving parenting advice. My only advice to parents is to figure out what works best for your family. But what struck me as odd was that in this context, parents were asking for advice and plenty of advice was being given. But all of the advice included things like taking children to therapy, seeking medication or practicing greater positivity.

I was apparently alone in asking the question, “Did you spank his little ass?”

Parenting is hard. I can’t imagine how hard it is if your only tactic is trying to smile your children into doing what you ask of them. I asked one parent how she disciplined her child. She admitted sheepishly, that in moments she was not proud of, she yelled at her kids. Since when did yelling at your own kids become something to be ashamed of? Are these parents afraid or are these parents brainwashed?

I generally don’t spank my kids but I have. Most of the time they are very well behaved and I attribute that to the fact that I have spanked and will spank again if necessary. I definitely yell at my kids and I’m proud to say that it is my dad superpower. I have a gear in my voice, which all dads should, that if I switch to, my kids know that I mean business. It’s important for children to listen to their parents. Mostly it serves to teach them how to be responsible adults which, newsflash… is the entire point of parenting. But what if a situation unfolds where your child’s safety depends on their ability to listen to you immediately?

I for one think that parenting, like every other aspect of our modern lives is undergoing the same growing pains associated with social media and our rapidly shrinking world. Specifically, the problem is this bizarre notion that everyone is supposed to pretend that their lives are all sunshine and rainbows. Well parenting is mostly rain clouds and mud puddles. It’s fun, but only if you’re willing to get a little dirty.

No one expects your kids to be perfect and no one expects you to be a perfect parent. More importantly, who cares what anyone else thinks? Just do yourself and your kids a favor and be the best parent you can be. And remember, sometimes a good old fashioned ass whooping goes a long way.