Shelf Life: episode 10 “deep waters”

“Bag him and tag him.” She said. “We got what we need.”

Something cracked me over the head and my world went dark. I was dreaming about the north pole, only there was no Elf Headquarters but my family was there. I could see each of them, Mom and Dad and Jake and Haley… they were lost to each other. They were all wandering separately through a storm, calling out for one another but they couldn’t hear anything but the wind. They were each lonely and afraid. I tried to call out, to help in any way that I could but it was as if I was a ghost. I was totally incapable of helping.

When I finally came to, my head was throbbing something awful and it felt like it was as big as a kiwi. I tried to open my eyes and I nearly vomited so I focused my attention instead on my audible surroundings. I could hear some muted voices and what sounded like the dull roar of a river. The sound was below me somewhere. Gaining my bearings, ever so slightly gave me the confidence to reach out with my other senses. I was somewhere damp, it smelled like mildew and lavender. It was cold and the ground below my feet had holes, like some kind of lattice. I opened one eye just slightly and I could see dark blue. Feeling as if I had that under control, I opened the other eye and I allowed my vision to slowly fade back into focus.

Below me was a pool of serene water, no; it was a tub with the faucet pouring water. I was in the bathroom. There was something floating in the water, a white, plastic sail boat. My eyes adjusted further and I could see that there was someone on the boat, it was Ned.

Suddenly, with a loud swoosh, the shower curtain drew back. Gloria, my angel was there and she was lugging a very large object up towards the side of the tub, it was a toaster.

“That’s enough.” She said, once she had positioned the toaster on the edge of the tub. Three rubber duckies suddenly splashed into the tub and jumped up from the water to turn off the faucet.

“I’ll never talk.” Ned said, in his comically high voice.

“I dont need you to talk.” Gloria said. “It will save me time but I dont need you to talk, the choice is yours.”

The rubber duckies bobbed up and down menacingly. Ned stared on definently. Gloria just smiled.

“Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way Ned.” She said, gesturing towards the toaster which was plugged in and perched murderously on the side of the tub.

“Give me the codes.”