Category Archives: Adam Kirkpatrick

Shelf Life: episode 7 "angel"

But I didn’t feel good, I didn’t feel good about any of this. On the bright side, my good work had earned me a promotion and I was now granted, on base travel privileges. Basically that meant that I could wander down to the elf headquarters watering hole. It was a dingy little place called the Twirly Squirley. After report,

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Shelf Life: episode 6 "night watch"

“It’s too bad that there’s no such thing as Christmas miracles,” I thought. “Because that’s the only way these two are going to stay off of the naughty list.” My mission was easy. I watched the kids throughout the day and I made two lists which I brought back to elf headquarters every night; one nice and one naughty. I’ll

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Shelf Life: episode 5 "naughty list"

“Well recruit,” Ned said. “It means there is no such thing as Christmas miracles.” It bothered me, what he said but I couldn’t tell you why. I didnt really even know what Christmas was beyond an excuse to ransom children for good behavior with the promise of presents. The way he said it, the way he laughed at it… something

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Shelf Life: episode 2. "Shelf School"

“Hello, new recruits.” He said. “Welcome to Shelf School.” I stood there with the others; hundreds of them who all looked exactly like me and I wondered, “Why the hell don’t these guys look more confused?” Everyone was standing crisply to attention, well everyone but me… “My name is Thaddeus McGladeus.” The elf in black said, his voice booming over

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