Tag Archives: dad

Dishwasher be damned

On Easter my dishwasher was broken. Specifically, it was the soap dispenser that was the culprit; the damn latchy thingy wouldn’t close. So I did what anyone would do in that situation; I failed repeatedly at trying to close it the same way for about a thousand times before punching it in it’s stupid, soap dispenser face and then slamming

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Peanut butter and the end of the world

An extra large jar of peanut butter; that was our breaking point. It was early last week when the gravity of this situation became suddenly and terrifyingly apparent to me. We hadn’t been panic buying because it seemed both irrational and irresponsible. Then I noticed that the stores were looking a bit thin. Then I heard some chatter about the

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Mostly, I am thankful

I drank a beer tonight before I came home from work. It was my third, 13 hour shift in a row. I thanked my employees for another awesome job, wished them goodnight and then I sat on a counter and just drank a beer without really thinking of much at all, except for one thing. I thought about how thankful

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Our own personal pandemic disease

Tonight, while the world trembled in fear at the prospect of the coronavirus coming to a town near them; my wife and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. An anniversary is not unlike a pandemic disease. It is overhyped for completely arbitrary reasons, we make unwise financial decisions and ultimately, despite fretting to an unhealthy degree about a future that

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Dystopian love story and the last survivor

I cautiously peek over the top of my phone where I am reading the latest news about the Coronavirus outbreak in the states. I see three, red eyed boys with drippy noses and droopy frowns gazing lethargically at the television. They’ve been coughing for hours, like flem fueled war drums marching ruin and despair to my peaceful homeland. My entire

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Snow Day

I awoke this morning with a certain, eerie alertness; wide eyed and battle ready before the ominous chime of my alarm. “I know this place well.” I thought to myself, wading carefully into those familiar yet uncertain depths. I knew that it could be 5 minutes before my alarm or it could be 1:45 in the morning. Experience has taught

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Play with your food

The best chicken nuggets are shaped like dinosaurs… or so I used to think. Tonight, I made the incredibly adult decision of purchasing the non dinosaur shaped, chicken nuggets because they were a dollar cheaper. These are the concessions that we must make as parents. I was however, still burdened by the weight of my decision as I imagined that

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